Speaker never had nightmares. He couldn’t, not when he could control his own dreams. It would be silly to inflict the worst sort of horrors upon himself. He never woke up sweating, heart beating painfully fast, or paralyzed with fear. That would just be ridiculous. When he did sleep he did his best to make the dreams the best they could be but that wasn’t always easy, not when what it meant was having a few extra hours to himself to think.
Speaker never had nightmares but he had bad dreams. Dreams in which he spent too much time thinking about a future he might not be able to have, the stress of all the things he had to do for the next day, and processing the recent news about his mother’s health.
Suffice to say, he didn’t sleep well that night.
Most of the time Speaker could deal with things quite easily. Most of the time, Speaker ignored them, distracting himself with a million other things, but when he’s sleeping and his brain gives him the space and time to settle down and process things he didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t distract himself from himself when he was in himself. He’s tried. He’s tried bringing up different things to think about, tried giving his mind something else to do but his thoughts always reverted back to the same negative topics.
Speaker didn’t sleep well that night and when he awoke earlier than normal, he found that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get back to sleep. He couldn’t get back to sleep and he definitely couldn’t stay in bed thinking about the same exact things he was when he was dreaming. So Speaker got up, got dressed, and decided to distract himself once more, hitting his morning run before sunrise, hoping it would take his mind off things.
He nearly threw up.
He’d been pushing his body further than it was used to because he just didn’t want to stop. He hadn’t stopped to stretch, didn’t bother grabbing a water bottle and he found himself bent over by a bench at the park, hands gripping the back rest of the thing as he panted heavily, tired and in pain but not thinking about the things that occupied his mind all night.
March 23rd,2012
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It wasn’t until they were out of the system that the computerized Artificial Intelligence voice piped up. “There’s an extra person on board.” It said, making everyone who’d been relaxing tense up again.
“Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” Elk asked, bolting up and pulling her old world ballistics luger out of the holster that rested against her right thigh. It’d been upgraded of course, but it still retained the vintage look and was widely recognized as an expensive antique.
“There were more important things to attend to.” The ship responded flatly.
All the crew members were annoyed but none of them fancied arguing with a computer, even though the idea that the ship itself could miss someone inside it was ridiculous. Read the rest of this entry »
They were gambling with their lives. There was no time at all to complete the procedure, even in this half assed state. Mai was afraid of causing further complications but to believe that Alex could get out of this relatively unscathed was naive and downright stupid.
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SHE SAYS GOODBYE
And she’s asking you to do the same. She’s asking you to leave and to never come back. She’s telling you that you are the best worst thing that’s ever happened to her. That you are poison.
You are poison.
You are poison.
That you are
(“Will you be poisonous with me?)
HE STARES FROZEN
In time and space because he’s suddenly gone. The air constricts and the nonexistent walls from a building he isn’t in collapses on top of him. He’s claustrophobic and he can’t breathe. He’s asking you to save him. To stay with him.
(“I can’t”)
SHE SAYS NO
Because she’s not your antidote, because she’s getting worse, because she’s dying and it’s all because of you.
(“No, you’re my savoir”)
HE WATCHES THE DOOR CLOSE
And he falls silent as the world goes black.
(“I’m Sorry”)
I’m sorry.
February 19th,2012
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AN: Happy Valentine’s Day? This is just something I banged out in 15 minutes just for fun, probably influenced by the holiday.
Into The Lion’s Den
He’s always been able to tell the future. He was psychic like that. Everything he had imagined as a child when he thought of his future had come true. He went to school, he got good grades, he went to college, he graduated, he wore a tie and suit as he worked in the day and he showered when he came home at night. It was exactly as it should be.
Even his image had been eerily exact.
But now, as he stood in front of a brass door knocker shaped like a lion’s head, he found that he couldn’t see anything at all. Not the future, not the past, and certainly not the present.
He was blind.
Gerard’s past had never been solid. Even as a child he couldn’t access the most basic of memories. He only remembers phrases, algorithms, numbers and a woman he called mother growing old with a stranger. No, instead of memories Gerard measured his past in the most linear of all ways; He measured it by the distance towards his future. High school was a dream about college, college was a dream about work, and so on and so forth. He measured the passage of time by how many achievements he had sought to gain.
He was quite content with that way of living.
The present had always been a haze of things he didn’t understand, things like people, friends, family, with no reason as to why they were disappearing. Instead he conceptualizes the present in mathematics, science, theories and formulas, because those always made sense. The work he was assigned to do made sense. They were simple and to the point. People and Present were not.
Gerard’s life was simple. Simple enough for him to function normally, simple until she brought her existence into his life.
What she was, he didn’t know. Perhaps she was meant to rob him of his sight. He couldn’t see anything with her around and she shrouded his mind with colours and sounds and melodies he could smell.
He was scared.
What was he without his eyes?
Nothing.
He was nothing.
And Nothing stood, feet grounded into the cement as he engaged in a deep staring contest with the stoic of all kings.
Gerard had never felt so passionate towards someone in his life.
He hated her.
He hated her because he didn’t know anything when she was around. He hated her because he was scared that he wouldn’t be ready for the day he wakes up and finds her gone, he hated her because he knew nothing about her.
Who was she?
She was everything.
And Everything would have to come to an end.
He wanted a rejection. He wanted her to turn him away. That was the key to him. A rejection so he could set his mind at ease and finally see the future again, because she would be absent from it.
Nothing raised his arm and knocked on the door.
February 13th,2012
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Time froze.
It froze in a way that everyone knew it was still ticking down to the last possible second of their lives but they couldn’t move, or maybe they just didn’t care.
The dust from the debris clouded around them, accenting the scene in an almost picturesque moment. If only they had the time to actually contemplate it.
It was a sharp yell that jolted everyone back to reality and had Azeline looking back at the damage.
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January 30th,2012
mundus novus |
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Ezra and Mai worked together in relative silence, broken only occasionally by something they saw in a photograph or something to that effect. The task wasn’t difficult and it didn’t require a lot of concentration but it was tedious and while the two girls got along pretty well they still didn’t know each other yet.
It wasn’t awkward though, it was almost natural actually, and there was no uncomfortable feelings from either party.
And yet, Mai still felt the need to bring conversation up, just because she knew so little about her companion, and because her companion knew so little about her. Read the rest of this entry »
The landing was much smoother than their arrival as Ezra skillfully piloted the ship down to the surface of Rhylldor where a makeshift docking station seemed to be. Elk moved out of the cockpit and started her way towards the lounge area as the crew began to gather in with Thi following closely behind her.
“We’re going to need you to come with us.” She said to Thi and Mark, who was sitting nearby, “You guys know what we need after all.” Read the rest of this entry »
There was a rumble that jolted the entire ship, one that felt way too similar to being hit by a medium sized pulser.
“Warning, we are under attack.” It was the ship’s computer generated voice that was heard in every room and by every person on the ship. “Shields’ are at 99%”
At least the ship had shields was, strangely enough, the only thought that ran through Ithiais’ head as he watched Ezra jump into action and run into the cockpit for the second time that day, no doubt steering the ship out of trouble.
Elk turned to Alex sharply and shouted at her to get to the turrets, something that Alex was already on her way to but she didn’t seem to mind. She did however mumble something about how she hoped Mark’s repairs actually worked.
Mark himself ran towards the gun he’d been toying with earlier, hopping in swiftly and smoothly as he piloted the gun to fire at the fighters flying towards their direction.
“What’s going on?” Thi asked, following Elk as she ran after.
“We’re being shot at what do you think is going on?”
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The smooth rumble of the engine was exactly what everyone liked to hear. Madeline and Ithaias had done what they could with the things they had and moved into the main area of the ship which turned out to be a nice breakroom/longue area. Thaias found himself seated on an extremely comfortable couch as Mai and Ezra walked in both giggling about something. Thi thought he heard something about food but he couldn’t be sure.
Mai seemed to be really happy to be in the company of girls for once. He couldn’t blame her, he and Mark could be a bit silly sometimes. He’d seen her roll her eyes more times than he could count and huff in mock exasperation.
Mai plopped down next to Thi as Ezra dragged a nearby chair so she could sit opposite of Mai. The two of them were still talking about food, pretty much ignoring him. Madeline, on the other hand, had joined in their conversation the second she heard “bacon”.
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