Jump Because You Can.
Today was a good day and I don’t know why. Do you ever get those days? It’s was overcast and on the verge of raining today but it just felt so good. It was nice out and it wasn’t cold cold, I mean it was cold but there was no wind so it didn’t feel like it was freezing. It just felt cool, and I really like that. When I left the house and first let the air hit me I was rocking headphones in my ears and I briefly broke out in song and dance but then I was almost late for being early to school so I merrily skipped off.
I just feel so frigging good today! I had to restrain myself from random dancing! I’ve never had to do that. Usually when I feel the urge to dance I do because usually I feel the urge to dance in my room but nope! Wide open in the school and that of course just made me want to rock out even more. I don’t know what’s up with me but I like it. It was one of those days where you are just so giddy that nothing can stop you. Today there was no worry about all the school work, homework, social work that I had to do. It was like a part of me knew I had to do them but I didn’t worry about them. A life without worry! Now that would be perfection. And I have days like that every so often but usually they are kept in the quiet calm that is my head. They are very peaceful and thoughtful and I would just love to breathe but today was different. Today was definitely a jump up and down and enjoy life day. Not a peaceful thoughtful enjoy life day.
The music I’ve been listening to -craving to listen to- all day has been different too. Usually in my quiet pensive moods I would love to go for a nice bluesy, jazzy, acousticy, natural sound that has the artist sing lyrics that make you feel like they’ve printed them in your soul but today has been all crazy upbeat skater boy punk bands and boybands that sing about sappy teenage love.
I guess I’m just in a weird mood 
Sometimes you need a little bit of that you know? Just to feel good.
Well, I’m off to plug in some Backstreet boys, Something Corporate or Boys like Girls and going crazy in my room.
I’ll return soon.
(On a side note, my website is blocked on the school computers and categorized under “Games” can I get a “QUESTION MARK!” please?)
Exploding Sewing Machines
I can’t cook. At all. I don’t’ really know why I decided to blog about cooking but it probably has to do with the fact that I am eating something very yummy that I know I won’t be able to make myself once I move out. It kind of makes me sad because I am just so pathetic in the kitchen. I can barely step in it without doing something stupid. If I look at a cooking appliance (not including the microwave because really who screws that up? *cough* *cheesy grin* *cough*) I half expect it to blow up. In fact one of my catchphrases, if you will, is “If I even look at *insert object here* it blows up!” And blowing up kitchen appliances isn’t even the worst of it. The absolute terror of the kitchen is a kitchen where I am holding a knife because only bad things can come of that. I seriously suggest you stand at least 3-10 feet (depending on the size of the knife) away from me in the case of accidental stabbing. I’m so afraid of dropping the knife and cutting off my big toe (Virtual cookie to whomever gets that refrence before M) it’s ridiculous.
Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s not just cooking. I am SO not domesticated. I can’t cook, I really can’t clean or even keep anything clean for more than 20 minutes, I can’t do laundry (I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually), and I am a pathetic excuse for a female. I guess it has to do with the fact that it was never my job to do any of those things in the house therefore I never learned how to. I was the child so I was to play and as I grew older my job changed from playing to doing well in school. My life was revolved around a plan, and school was just the first step. “Do well in school” My Aunt says, “Get into a good college” Mom says, “Get a good job” Dad says, and “Make good money” They all say, and so on and so on. It’s not a bad plan, not at all. The plan provided the basis of my life and goals for me to reach. The plan provided well me. It’s what I know and it’s who I am and it’s been drilled into my head so much that it’ll never go away. It shaped me into me, gave me my morals, my ambition, a reason, a job, a status ect. And each member of my family has a job, and I believe we all expect us to do it alone in a way. We don’t expect anyone to help us and when we do get help it’s a huge blow to our pride. For example my Grandmother is the housekeeper and likes to disregard people who attempt to help her.
We all have a place and I guess that’s where my sense of independence comes from. My pride in my ability to do my job alone, doing my job with limited help from the people in my life. And it’s not all that difficult considering I am the first one, therefore I set the ground rules, there are expectations but they aren’t written in blood. I set the expectations and I am to rise above those and I guess I caught a good break because the reality is I am so average and so simple that I would not be able to rise above the high ranks. And I forget that I set the expectations sometimes, I forget that I am the determinant, I forget that my parents don’t really know what success is because I will be (hopefully) the definition of success. So I jump through these fiery hoops that I set for myself because I just want to make them proud, to set the expectations high to mark that I am more than just average but I forget that I am not and I forget that I like being average and I forget that being happy means more to me than being good. I think that maybe we all want to be good at what we do and maybe we sometimes think that being good means being happy.
P.S Totally aware that my title says “Sewing Machines” instead of “Kitchen Appliances” Another virtual cookie to you if you can figure out why.
A Slight Shift in…Well Everything Really.
So, I started to tweet what was on my mind but then I realized the topic would stretch way beyond the 140 characters Twitter likes to give us. Maybe I’m just a fool to think that a topic like this could even begin to fit in a measly 140 characters.
Oh, I should probably tell you the topic…
Reading. I know, I know, silly of me to think that it was even possible to squeeze something that awesome into 140 characters. After my momentary lack of thinking , I thought this belonged in my blog instead. I was going to tweet about how I felt like I had nothing to read when I realized that this was so wrong in so many ways. The truth is I have a pile of unfinished books that I could start but I just don’t find them interesting anymore. Half of the pile is filled with required reading, which always makes me feel like reading is work as opposed to a hobby, and the other half is a bunch of old books I never got around to reading.
There’s a reason I don’t read those old new books. I have no interest in them anymore. I think it may be the genre, it just doesn’t have that spark it used to. The genre I’m referring to is the Young Adult genre, and don’t get me wrong, tons and tons of good books are written in that genre, I could list off ten quite easily from the top of my head, but I’ve just grown so tired of reading them. It’s just not appealing to me anymore.
*Sniff* I think I’m growing up.
Not that I’m saying people who read young adult books are immature! (Oh boy, I may have just avoided a catastrophe) but my taste in books have veered off in such a way that I never would have predicted when I was younger. I had always assumed that Fantasy would have been my genre, something I would stick with forever, that magic died away around the 8th grade, and then I discovered this real likeness towards things of the real realm. Reality just seemed so much cooler to me so realistic fiction, ones with people instead of elves, really attracted me in a way reading had never done before. These are real people, going through real things and they were just so intriguing.
Gack, but now it’s just so dull. A lot of the ones I pick up are just so typical and even though I love cliches and gushy cute stories I feel like some things are lacking. Some how I’ve started to see myself grow fonder and fonder of the Nonfiction realm (say it aint so! My 9 year old self is screaming to me, it thinks I’m a disgrace!) Social things, movements, and spirituality (which is debatable to whether or not it’s nonfiction…)
It’s just so odd that I would be interested in these things, just so odd that my interests have shifted so dramatically. I’m trying to figure out why but maybe it’s best not to question it. I will never completely abandon a genre, a book is a book after all, but I may do a little bit of shifting to my library and add new works to it. Maybe it’s best, the expansion of one’s library is an expansion of ones mind.
Maybe I’m just trying to broaden my horizons and learn a bit more. I think that may be it, the learning bit, I’ve just been really curious lately, school’s been a bit dull and monotonous but that doesn’t stop my craving to learn. I want to learn, I do, but I feel like my school isn’t the place to do it. I’ll just have to find new ways to learn and stretching out to a new genre is the first step I think. Actually, now that I think about it the first step is to finish this Biology homework I shoved to the side to do this post instead. Hehe…
Quick Note At The End of This Post: NaNoWriMo is done and congratulations to everyone who finished, and I am immensly proud of everyone who participated. Oh and leave book suggestions down below, I may just pick it up.
OH(again) one last thing, if anyone has read any of Danny Wallace’s work could you please tell me what you think of it? That might be my next book conquest.
Oh(last one I swear) since NaNo is over this means I’ll have time to get things back on track because right now everything is ridiculously disorganized, I’m going to estimate that it’ll take another week or so until everything I need to do is done but at least I’m working on it!
One Day I’ll Write About Different Things.
I feel like crap. I feel lower than low and I hate it. I wish I could just be the happy go lucky person I try to be. Obviously it doesn’t work. I’m such a negative nelly all the time and everyday I lose my patience for people and things. I think I’m harboring a lot of anger but I don’t have any energy left to actually be angry. There’s so many things I should be doing right now other than staring off to space and feeling sorry for myself. I have homework, room cleaning, and novel writing to get to. Not to mention all the blogs I missed out on reading this month (sorry for that by the way) but I really don’t feel like doing anything but crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of my life.
I got called into the office by my freshman English teacher on Wednesday (Who’s now our lead facilitator) because she was concerned about me. Apparently she sees me wandering around the school looking utterly hopeless all the time, she didn’t really say it like that but it was more or less where she was going with it. She called my guidance councilor in too who I happened to be close with as well. We took a walk and talked for a bit, she kept referencing to depression, I vehemently denied it. Just because I’m in a depressive state of mind doesn’t necessarily mean I’m depressed, maybe I am but we can’t jump to crazy conclusions just yet.
I think I’ve just been slumpy lately.
We talked about a lot of things, lots of things I’m not going to blog about here because half of it was repeats of things I’ve already said and I can’t really recall the other half.
I’m kind of stressed out and I haven’t been stressed out in forever, mainly because stress isn’t something I want to deal with so I just don’t get stressed. I’m stressed out because my friend – my science partner, decided to completely bail on me for my honors biology project. It sucks and now I have to do it all on my own and finish it by Monday. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, I’ve had 3 partner projects this year and every single one of them bailed on me in some way. The first guy didn’t even show up to school, the second girl was a friend of mine who desperately needed a partner, and the third one (the current one) is a friend who asked me to be her partner. She’s a relatively new friend of mine so I thought, “why not?”
Now I remember why I hate partner projects so much. People are just unreliable. Sometimes it’s not their fault. We’re forgetful, I’m forgetful, we’re only human, but how hard is it to agree to do something and actually show up? Or how about a phone call “I can’t today I’m busy” Anything. Instead of stupid excuses like “I didn’t have my phone on me” because she always has her phone on her.
I’m so done with some of the people in my life. We’re just miserable together, or at least I’m miserable when I’m with them.
It’s just hard when you care about these people so much that you just can’t be done with them because they are your friends after all. It’s even harder when your just so lonely in a crowd of people. My guidance councilor thinks that the reason I like being alone so much is because when I’m alone I chose to be alone and I’d rather chose to be alone than expecting to be with people but feeling alone anyway, she says “nothing is worse than being alone in a crowd of people.”
I think she’s right.
This post is slightly depressing, I think I’m going to go now and finish that biology poster. Even though I really don’t want to. I’m really close to just not doing it and having her drop me from honors.
So I totally Gypped You.
Greetings Earthlings!
I know I have neglected this blog for far too long and I feel really bad for posting a quickie up here, but I’d thought I’d let you guys know what’s going on in my life.
I’ve been busy! Not the supermegabusyrunningaroundnosleepandallcaffeine busy but more like I have had things occupying my life recently. Mainly NaNoWriMo which is National Novel Writing Month where you write 50k worth of words in the month of november, but most of you probably already know that.
I’m going to do my first word war with Marissa in *checks watch* 35 minutesish.
And I guess that’s all for today. I just thought I’d let you know that my updates in November are going to probably be slim to none.
Runaway like a Prodigal
I’m a runner, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but I am. I’m not a runner in the sense that I actually run professionally or recreationally. I’m a runner in the sense that I flee. When it comes to the fight or flight response it’s just so much easier to run. It’s less trouble, and it doesn’t matter how much I want to fight, which is a lot actually, I still run. Because running is logically the best thing you can do. The consequences aren’t as harsh if you run. No one else gets hurt if you run. So I run. I don’t want to blame anyone, so I run. I tend to take out my anger on the people around me and the easiest way to fix that is to just leave.
So I do.
But sometimes I wish I didn’t. Or rather, I wish I didn’t have to. Sometimes, I just want some comfort, but I just don’t know how to express it, which makes me even more angry but instead of blaming it on myself I want to blame it on the people around me. It’s usually not their fault, but they don’t help it. If anything they just pour some salt on my wound. It feels like they’re mocking me. I can’t express my feelings very well face to face. In fact, I can’t express my feelings at all face to face, but a lot of them can, and it bothers me. Because, as selfish as it sounds, it feels as if half of the stuff they freak out over or overreact and cry over while their friends give them comfort is so much smaller than the crap I’m going through and I don’t have someone to comfort me. What kind of human being feels like that!? It’s terrible and makes me feel even worse which makes me just clam up and shut up, because I don’t want to be like them, overreacting and crying over nothing. It doesn’t help, if anything this whole not talking about how I feel is my fault.
I guess I’m just jealous.
So I flee, in an attempt to calm down or to shed enough tears till I feel better. I flee so I’m not bothering anyone with my so called issues.
I flee to my sanctuary at home where I rest and read Harry Potter, who always gives me the comfort and warmth I want so badly. I’m not even supposed to be home yet, but I am. I guess I’m skipping school but I’m really not. I don’t have any classes for the rest of the day so I figured I’ll be okay.
I’m so tired of not feeling anything. Most of the time I’m a zombie, just walking through life and school and dealing with it all. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, I make myself think happy thoughts and allow myself to be content with the thought of going forward and not looking back. I find comfort in the fact that I cannot change the past and that I can only wait for the future. Other times, I just feel physically and mentally drained from life. Days like today are when I can find no solace in my head and must retreat to my sanctuary, or my secret hiding spots to get away from people
The title of this post comes from this song here.
Go have a listen and see if you spot anything interesting.
Happiness Comes in Small Forms
Wild night and wild parties! WOOO!
Okay, no…I’m not one for wild parties, I just can’t do it. They aren’t my style. I mean, I’m sure if I go to one (on the right night) I can enjoy one but really, I’m much better off sticking with my comforting and less wild parties. However, I do believe my parties are a lot longer…like 12-22ish hours long. We hang out, play some games, eat sugar filled treats and watch loads of movies…okay…maybe not loads…
We watched The Hangover (which is perhaps the funniest movie I have ever seen), Fight Club (Which is the most twisted movie anyone will ever see) and A Walk To Remember (which is my chick flick pick) [I've watched these all at least twice already...]
They seemed to really enjoy it.
We also did a bunch of other things, we started with watching lots of Spongebob, then turned on Assassins Creed, and when it got late we started the movie watching/mah jong playing.
It was fun 
But, onto the real reason for my blog today. I mentioned we watched A Walk To Remember, which is one of my favorite cheesy chick flicks in the world(also a favorite book of mine), and the main character Jamie makes a “To Do List” or a “Bucket List”(Another sweet movie by the way) So at night the girls that stayed over decided that we should each make our own.
Now I kind of have an issue with “bucket lists” because I find them kind of…limiting? Mainly because I don’t want to change anything on my list, I want it to be concrete. If I have a list, I want to do every single thing on my list.
I decided that there was a difference between what goes on your “Dreams” list and what goes on your Bucket list.
Dreams are big you know, things you want to do with your life. A reward you want to have when you reached it. The things that go on your bucket list are on a smaller scale, they effect you and let you bask in their glory but they don’t change anything, not perminantly.
So here’s my (short) list.
- I want to watch the Sunrise on a beach
- I want to participate in a guided meditation
- I want to paint the lake from a dock over seeing said lake
- I want to do Tai Chi
- I want to take a cooking class
- I want to spend a lazy summer day sitting by a tree
- I want to spend some time in a National Park
And that’s all I have for now.
Blah, boring blog post, I’m going to go now.
Dreams of the Soul
I just woke up, and I knew I had to blog because my dream was intense. It was one of those dreams where something in your body – be it your mind or your soul or whatever you choose to believe – is telling you something.
Something important.
I don’t quite know how to react to this dream, I don’t know what to think of it, because there could be a million things it was trying to tell me…
I need to tell someone this dream before I forget, so I figured why not come to my trusty blog.
Maybe you guys can help.
The dream starts out oddly, I am a grumpy old man. I walk to my car, it’s a nice car and I know it’s mine. I unlock it ready to get in when a boy passes me, I cannot see his face. He tells me I’m grumpy and mean then disappears. I crumple over in pain – physical pain and suddenly I transport to the streets just outside my neighborhood. I am me again. I begin walking and the sky is darkening, I enjoy this walk. The background begins to all look the same. I notice the moonlight through some tree branches. The leaves, I remember, were a dark forest green. I look down and the sidewalk is perfect, new, there were no cracks. I remember noticing that there were no cars and eventually no buildings. Just the sidewalk and trees.
I was calm.
Until I hear footsteps behind me. The person brushes by me. She is my friend, but she doesn’t say a word, instead she keeps walking as if she didn’t see me, as if I didn’t exist. I distinctly remember her wearing a pink hoody, one she hasn’t worn since the first year of our introduction. That thought sticks to me as I continue walking. Then, more of my friends blur by – I don’t remember what they said, only that they walked by without saying a word or acknowledging my existence. They crossed right in front of me, zigzagged sideways on their skateboards and scooters, passing me without another thought. I wasn’t too bothered by it. It was more of a weird thing I couldn’t help but notice. However – my body started aching. I was in pain – I dragged on. My leg was causing me particular problems. The background was slowing fading into black, the farther I went the darker it got. Then a really good guy friend of mine was biking with another boy I used to be close to right behind me. They were talking to each other about something I deemed unimportant. They rode by, and that was when I knew it was a dream.
I knew they wouldn’t have kept going if they saw that I was in physical pain. At the very least they would ask if I was okay. I pondered this for a little while, then something snapped me out of my reverie. The trees and the sidewalk were gone. I was walking in a black plane. There was no end, and yet I continued in one direction as my friends still passed by me.
No one payed me any attention.
I didn’t particularly care until a boy – a boy I’ve known since preschool, one I’ve never heard speak (aside from whispers in class) looked straight at me. This weirded me out, he barely acknowledges me IRL, probably doesn’t recognize me anymore (not that I see him lot, we no longer go to the same school) and yet there he stands looking straight at me. Noticing that I was there. He slowly opens his mouth and I walk towards him, he’s still walking forward which would make him end up crossing me horizontally. As he crosses he says something odd, “All is gone” or something to that effect.
That was when I started to flip out, that was when my body keeled over in pain.
I woke up at school. And I began the search for my friend. They are all together when they see me, and rush over to hug me. I tell them of my dream and they comfort me.
We analyze this dream.
I talk of how I thought my soul was warning me, and what each symbol meant, specifically going over the pink hoody of yesteryear. They listened intently, interested and drawing their own conclusions that they do not share. They understand that I just want someone to listen, not to spurt out their own opinions of things. We were talking in some kind of tower with a tiny office, desk and chair. It is inhabited by my math teacher. A normally jolly old man. He tells us to go away and that he’s doing work. I notice that the outside of the tower was a white plane, but I don’t think anything of it. I shuffle towards the door and wake up as I hit the light.
VideoGamesFriedMyBrain(Maybeit’sthezombies)
What’s this?! A blog?! And a new background and well…WHAT?!
That’s right, I’m blogging again, but the reason I haven’t for the past *looks at nonexistant watch* two weeks or so(according to a friend of mine who happens to lurk the interwebs) is because VIDEOGAMESHAVEFRIEDMYBRAIN
I’ve been really into playing games and I don’t really know why. It’s not like I haven’t played them before, it’s not like they’re anything special but I’m playing them anyway. Lately I’ve been playing a game called GTA San Andreas (Grand Theft Auto series :]) which is actually really old…and I’ve been playing my DS which I haven’t picked up in forever. It’s odd, OH and to top that off my neighbor has recently gotten me addicted to DDO (Dungeons and Dragons Online) I’m so into playing games important things have been slipping from my mind…like oh I don’t know HOMEWORK. D:
I’ve always liked video games. Even when I stopped playing them. When I was younger I’d jump at a chance to play Street Fighter or the ORIGINAL Mario Kart (I still own a super nintendo) I was definitely a guyishgirl. VideoGames are simple you know? When your playing it with your friends you suddenly have a subject to discuss and there’s no awkward silence in game. If it does get to awkward you can always just run off in a different direction or switch the game. It’s just very chill. And that my friends, is the reason I lack necessary social skills to connect with other people.
I mean…I can connect with people it’s just a little bit more difficult with me, unless you and I have a foundation. When I hung out with only boys(not like that fools, I was one of the guys, they’re like my brothers) we had video games, then I started reading and gained a new circle of bookbuddies and then there’s my blog circle which is completely unique and awesome. However when I’m in an area where there’s nothing familiar I’m not very good at adapting, I pretend I am but really who is comfortable when you know nothing about your environment?
The reason I choose to stay at home? It’s better and more fun than hanging out in some epic nonchillcrazyparty. Hell it’s more complicated than Algebra 2(My Math Teacher said that today…)
ANYWAY, I’m going to stop talking about my social awkwardness and how awesome video games are and am instead going to tell you the awesome thing a friend of mine and I did today.
SO, over the weekend we went to Witchapalooza to watch the Remus Lupin’s set. There was a Harry Potter booth/vending thing so we were browsing when we saw a Head Boy badge. We knew we had to get it for one of our teachers, Julian, who wasn’t really our teacher anymore (he hasn’t been mine in 2 years actually…) We knew he liked Harry Potter we just didn’t know how much…that is until today. Along with the Head Boy Badge we got him Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans and they mean every flavor and a really cool HP postcard.
You should have seen his face.
His eyes lit up with glee and he looked like a school boy who “just got a new firetruck for Christmas”. It was so worth it. He claimed the stuff was things he wanted to get but didn’t because he didn’t want to seem nerdy. Now I’d like to let you know that Julian is one of the uptight teachers at our school. Actually I think he’s the only uptight teacher at our school. He rarely smiles and always seems to be barking at people to stop breaking things or making loud noises. This proved to everyone that he’s just a child on the inside. He gave us both hugs! He INITATED the hugs, which is actually really weird because I have never seen him hug anybody before.
I really like seeing people light up and be the child we all want to be.
(going to take a leaf out of Marissa’s book and put this little note down here in small font) I know this blog is a little, okay a lot, different than my “normal” posts and that my site is different, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to change my style of blogging.
Safety and Peace My Friends, That is My Wish For You.
Today is Monday. Monday happens to be my favorite day of the week.
Weird huh?
I haven’t had a disappointing Monday in forever. I think it’s because after the weekend I’m all rejuvenated and ready to go. Hell today is probably one of the best days of my life yet! Why!? No reason what so ever. It’s just one of those days where nothing can get you down. I nearly did a jig in school (I didn’t though…but I kind of wish I did.) because I just felt so damn good. The best part is that I was feeling really pessimistic about it this morning and my entire day turn upside down and now it’s just so great. I was feeling pessimistic because my homework wasn’t completely done, I had issues with my English project and I had a lot of classes today. I was really afraid of a work overload D: but! Here comes the but, I got a chance to finish my homework n class, my English teacher LOVED my project, and the classes were kind of fun today.
I’m a dork…I know. But hey, everything went right for a day, and sometimes you need that. It boosts your spirits up a bit, and my self esteem (which is usually rather low actually) was pretty high today. I was feeling really good about being me, and about who I am. Suddenly all the little things I pick myself apart for didn’t matter. Today, none of those things existed to me. I remained focused on just being proud of myself for a day. Proud of just being me. It feels nice. I think more people need to focus on their good qualities rather than their bad. It just makes you feel better.
I also love clothes that make me happy, or remind me of things that make me happy. Like this Chudley Cannons Quidditch Tee I have on. It reminds me of my epic love for this series. The series that made me who I am today. I think, when I’m wearing this, I can’t be moody or sad or any other negative emotion because it reminds me of the source of eternal joy. It’s like having something pure with you all day. I think I understand why religious people have their relics with them, they feel safe with them, just like I feel safe in this shirt. I mean, obviously it’s a bit different, here I am comparing Chudley Cannons to you know…Faith and god and whatever you believe in but I’m just trying to let you know how much Harry Potter has done for me. And it’s done A LOT!
Ah, right, there was another thing I wanted to address here and it would be my last blog. I’m sorry for the crappyish writing in there. I write differently when I’m on the road and I’m crap at descriptions. I’m glad however that you guys enjoyed them.
Autymn: I wrote them in my notebook of random things. I don’t actually write like…stories in there, but I jot down whatever the hell comes up that I want to remember. I try to have it with my every day but that has been proving difficult with all the crap I have in my backpack
Marissa: I love all of Adam’s songs, but “Since March, Since September and Still” is my favorite. It’s just so damn GOOD. The lyrics rip my soul apart. Oh! And no, it’s not wrong to pick up the symbolism from the items I brought with me because there was a reason I brought them. They reminded me of everything pure and enjoyable. So that Penguin thing you mentioned, completely true. That is my childhood right there. That is my most precious friend. (Not that I don’t totally love you though.)
Cocoa: Yes! I have CD named Cocoa. I love it, but I think I love you more ^__^ You know what? I thought everyone would think I was weird for loving the overcast skies but I’m glad I found someone who understands. That feeling you get? At the beach when it’s overcast and cold is energy man! The waves are just so damn powerful and it reminds you that the world is just a powerful place. Not the people but earth. And you just feel so connected with the ocean and the skies! And then, when the moon pops out, it’s serenity. Complete peace and yet you can still feel the energy and it never really leaves you the same afterwards. *insert peaceful sigh here* I think, if you can’t go out and take a nice little trip you should still take a break from reality. You deserve it my friend! You can go out and watch the moon maybe you can feel the ocean through it.
That is all my friends.
Happy Monday.